Woman as Parent, Artist and Worker

This talk was delivered to a group celebrating “Women in Photography” in 1986.

 

Historically, for a woman to choose to be an artist has meant choosing a male role. The popular cultural myths about artists involve men. Many of these myths come from the Nineteenth century, more specifically from the Romantic Movement, which, among other things, cultivated tie idea of the artist/poet as a super-sensitive visionary, in touch with realities above and beyond those accessible to most of us. These ideas are still with us.

To be an artist, according to the traditional male model, one has to be alone a lot, to think, to listen to one’s muse, to actually create the art. One doesn’t, in general, devote much time to cooking, cleaning house, washing clothes. The commitments of parenthood, if the artist chooses them, traditionally don’t require much time, though the emotional commitment may be deep.

This was a fairly viable, even attractive model. The individual artist has a lot of freedom to pursue these presumably higher goals. A social system of servants and women is, of course, essential. Nowadays, such a system is harder and harder to create. Nonetheless, one only has to read reports on the lifestyle of someone like well-known American artist Julian Schnabel to realize that the myth and a contemporary version of its reality goes on.

Artists who support themselves entirely by the sale of their artworks are a small percentage of the artistic community. Most artists, and especially those practicing photography, earn the money to support their basic needs by working at other jobs.

In fact, the situation of artist photographers is particularly dismal in relation to selling their work. Over a hundred years of debate about whether photography was or should or could be or may be or is or ought to be an artistic practice has left its indelible mark. Photography has only recently become acceptable as an art investment commodity. Few photographers sell prints consistently and at prices worthy of the work. Photography is still the bargain basement of the art marketplace. (Ironically, the few people close to supporting themselves by the sale of their work are not photographers who make “art,” but rather, artists who make “photographs”…)

As a consequence of this, photography has been more dependent upon the academy for its survival than other media. Indeed, if college and university art departments had not introduced and expanded photography programs during the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, photographic art such as we have seen today would not exist. It has been photographic artists who earn their incomes by teaching who are the nucleus of the recent photographic explosion.

This leads me to a central premise about the position of artists in our society, a premise which is magnified for photographers, but which applies to all artists in greater or lesser degree. To be an artist you are expected to work twice as hard as everyone else, and feel grateful for half as much income as everyone else. You have to work to support yourself, and you have to work at your art. Artwork occupies a place in our culture similar to housework: it is unpaid, unattributed, and yet everyone expects someone to do it and do it well.

So the artist accepts that support from government and state agencies will be intermittent at best and non-existent at worst. For most of us, the reality, year in and year out, is artwork sandwiched between and around other jobs. But this situation is survivable, even rewarding, particularly if you are partners with someone who has similar goals and commitments, or who at least supports your own. Where things begin to get difficult is when artists chose to become parents. This discussion has been gender neutral so far-­- when I approach the triple obligations to parenting, to artwork, and to livelihood, I see this as a model that men must be encouraged to emulate, but I see it also as ground broken by women.

Women seem to be more concerned with parenting than men. Whether this ought to be is open to speculation, but that it has been the case historically is a fact. And this fact led me to the triple configuration that became the title of this presentation. It seems bad luck that two of the three elements in this triangle are held in low esteem by our culture. Government support of, the arts is inconsistent during “good” economic times and viewed as a dispensable luxury during “bad” economic times. Government support for parenting comes and goes in the token forms of tax deductions and credits and child care deductions. Since artists frequently have small incomes, they often cannot even exploit the existing deductions. But, is this bad luck, or a particularly strong cultural message to us that women are not supposed to be artists?

Women (and men) who choose to be parents and to participate fully in parenting are free to make artworks only insofar as they have support in the areas of livelihood and parenting. When the pressure is on, it is often the artwork that is sacrificed, sometimes for years. This situation would be alien to the nineteenth-century male artist, and even to most male artists today. It is hard for people who don’t have children, and particularly for artists who don’t have children, to understand how a commitment to a small human being could compete with and overshadow’ a commitment to one’s artistic endeavor.

For me, it was easier to be an artist before I had children, but my children have been more important to me than any art I have made and perhaps will make. On the other hand, I still choose to make art because there is a part of me separate from my children, a part of me which will continue to grow and create after my children no longer need me.

I didn’t know all of this when I started making the artwork I will show you today. I knew that I was dissatisfied with the conventional silver photographic print. I knew that the portraits I had been taking of other parents and their children were pushing me toward exploring material from my own family. I knew that hand coloring old photographs gave them qualities I found both poignant and amusing, but I also knew that viewers were easily charmed by the nostalgia of 1950s cars and hairstyles. So I added writing– at first captions, then longer narratives, to point the viewer away from the surface of the image, to another reality that connected with it.

In about 1974, I began copying and enlarging old photos, hand coloring them, then placing them on large sheets of paper, often with photo corners, then writing on the paper. Finally, I sandwiched the large pages between sheets of plexiglass, bolted them together and hung them.

One of my goals has been to make work which will encourage women to question their social reality, and to make connections between social, economic, and political realities. While each piece deals with the specifics of a particular place and time, I am always seeking to explore the relation­ship between the historical moment and the political present.

 

The Month of August (Le Mois d’Août)

This was written, from journal entries, in the 1990s. The summer it refers to was the summer of 1970. There was almost no air-conditioning in rural France at this time.  A few public venues, like cinemas in the larger cities, had AC. Even now, Europeans have a more stoic view of creature comforts than Americans. I suspect that few of the countless maisons secondaires that cover the present-day South of France have air-conditioning.  

I was never in really hot weather until my mid-twenties. As a child I don’t recall much discomfort from the heat, but then, I lived in a very mild climate. One summer my parents and I drove Route 66 from California to Missouri and back again. It must have been hot. I remember the water bags draped over the car radiator, the wide ceramic thermos for which we’d purchase a chunk of ice each morning, and how sweet the cold the water tasted from the enamel dipper which would lay next to it on the floor below the back seat of the car. I was allowed to wet towels and hold them up to the open car window or drape them over my shoulders or make fat, wet pillows to lay across my forehead. But it was all very close to a game and because I was a child, it did not seem unpleasant. A friend of mine, who grew up in San Diego, and whose family, like mine, had migrated from the Mid-west, reports that her mother frequently repeated “I’ll never be hot again. I’ll never be hot again.” And that’s what it is like in parts of Coastal California: pleasant, but not hot, not like the San Joaquin Valley, not like the Mojave Desert, not like back East.

So I made it to twenty-five without experiencing serious hot weather, then found myself in the South of France, in August, in a trailer. The farm-house that we rented for the other eleven months of the year had been rented to us on the condition that we vacate it during the Month of August, when most of France, and much of Western Europe attempts to squeeze as close to the Mediterranean as possible. We knew that our landlord would earn from the month’s rental in August about as much as we paid him for the whole rest of the year, plus, the August renters had been renting for five years previously and would probably continue to rent the place for years afterwards, when we would be gone back to North America. Our land lord generously offered us his trailer and a tent canopy. It was “Le camping” he insisted, not bad at all.

The farm house we rented was somewhat primitive by American standards of the late sixties, but quite livable. It sat on a gently sloping hillside in the Var. To one side were cherry trees, and figs and rows of artichoke bushes. Behind the house were grapes. In front, to the South was large farm garden, and between it and the house ran a flat gravel space for parking cars or playing boules, the local addiction.

Just outside the main door was a mulberry tree which had been pruned, and pruned, to finally resemble an umbrella with a very fat handle, but it served as a perfect patio shade and had a table and some chairs beneath it. To the far side was the landlord’s pride, the basin, which was fed by a gently trickling stream. It had been recently refurbished in concrete and resembled a swimming pool for very small people. It wasn’t for swimming, of course, but was the house’s water supply, a true luxury in this part of the world.

I had gotten through the heat of June and July like other Mediterranean people– I slept during the hot afternoons and stayed up late in the marginally cooler night. The house, with its thick stone walls and hillside location, offered some natural protection, and, after all, it was the South of France, and it was supposed to be hot. But when the last days of July came and I saw our landlord positioning the little trailer and its tent-canopy beside the basin, I began to think: this is not going to be fun.

And it wasn’t. By some feat of foresight, my husband had planned to be in London for three of those August weeks, and that made it a little easier, though not as nice as it would have been if I had gone too. As I remember, I had probably stayed behind to look after our dog who could not travel to England because of their strict quarantine laws.

The trailer was amazing in its way. It was fat and almost round, like a giant bean to be pulled behind a square, little Renault. It had a tiny gas-powered refrigerator and a two-burner cook stove. There were also gas-powered lamps in the wall, which I was afraid to use, and so I used only the common little square flashlights everyone in the country used to carry around with them at night. There was a tiny sink and a toilet, but, of course, no shower. The bed was built-in cross-ways across the back of the trailer, and my husband was unable to fully stretch out in it the few nights he slept there.

The trailer was too hot for a nap in the day-time, and I tried to sleep more at night. It was too hot during the day to do much of anything, and so I sat under the blue canopy with its flaps up and tried to read, fanning myself. Early on, my dog learned that the coolest spot, if she wanted to be close to me, was under the trailer. If that got too hot, she frequently deserted me for the cooler shade next to the stone foundation of the house. I had a car, but not much money for gas. The countryside had become so uncomfortably crowded with tourists that I stayed pretty close to my strange little home, venturing out only on the market days, Wednesday and Saturday, to go shopping. I was terribly self-conscious about living in the trailer and tried to avoid the August guests living in “my” house. I heard them laughing during lunch on the gravel patio, under the mulberry tree. Their wine bottles accumulated in the trash pile beside the house.

The trailer heated up so early in the morning that I was often awake, sweating, and had gotten up, walked the dog and fixed coffee before six. I checked out the garden and picked any ripe vegetables before anyone in the farmhouse was up. It was the only time during the day when it was possible to use the stove without suffocating. I took to making breakfast my hot meal, cooking my veggies and sometimes making an omelet. I had newspapers and books to read, letters to write. Things went better if you moved slowly.

The light in Provence has drawn visitors and commentary for centuries. In summer the sky is an unrelenting white-blue, day after day, and the sun is a blinding white-yellow. There is little wind, (the famed Mistral blows in the Spring– and that’s a whole other weather story). In the summer, the light and the heat make the colors dance. The hillsides are terraced and planted with olives, and gardens. If the ground is too rocky, then sheep graze it in the spring. Water is a serious issue. There is no rain from March to November. Many houses have roofs which channel the winter and spring rains into cisterns for use during the dry season. There are few wells because the water table is so low, and the water table is low because the region was deforested, most recently, in the 18th and 19th Centuries. Thus, our farm-house, with its spring fed basin, was unusual. The spring itself had been encircled in concrete, like a little grotto, and the water trickled out over a small lip a few feet up a hillside. The rectangular concrete basin, immediately below held a couple of carp and lots of water lilies. A small electric pump drew water into the house and to the outside spigot I got my water from.  A small sluice gate on the downhill side of the basin allowed water to be channeled out into a series of irrigation ditches, one of which watered our garden.

I would like to say that the basin made August bearable, but since I couldn’t put my feet in it, or wade in it, much less immerse myself in it, it was a tantalizing fixture. I resented it more than anything else until, near the end of the month, I noticed that the trickle from the pseudo-grotto had diminished. At first I thought I was hallucinating. Then I checked the water level of the basin itself, and, sure enough, it was a little lower than usual. At first I blamed the August tenants, but I soon realized that this accusation didn’t make sense. They used water from the basin, of course, but they could not change the flow of the water from the spring. I began to worry. What if all the water in the basin got used up? What would happen when we moved back into the house in September? Would we have to carry those huge containers to the market to buy water from the truck, the way so many of our neighbors did? What would happen to our garden?  Would all our vegetables dry up and die?

I drove over to our landlord’s house and reported the situation. He listened with patience to my story and assured me that it was “Normale, complètement normale.” The spring dried up in the summer and then came back. He did not think the spring would be exhausted, it never had been. But, it was possible, he shrugged, as if admittedly anything were possible.

In the last days of August, I watched the spring dry up, and the basin inch its way lower. The tenants finally left, and my lucky husband returned from London. My husband, not a great lover of hot weather himself, knew how unpleasant my weeks had been, and asked me many times how had I  done it. I didn’t honestly know the answer, but I knew how petty my complaints could sound. Well, I spent a really hard August in the south of France: sad, sad story.

As the weather began to cool in late September, I saw a trickle of water again at the spring and the basin began to fill up again. At its lowest the depth of the water had probably been less than a foot. When full, it was close to three feet in depth. We had had enough water throughout to drink and bathe and water the garden. Our garden had been producing bounteously for weeks and we had been canning and storing food for winter. The funny trailer was long gone, and those dreadful hot days were only a bad memory.

Graduation Memory

This was written about 1995.

I graduated from high school in 1959.

I don’t remember much about my high school graduation. We wore robes with hats and tassels. The high school orchestra played “Pomp and Circumstance.” They were slightly off-key but it was music I liked, and it gave me goose-bumps. Both my parents attended my graduation, an event in itself, because they were not much given to public occasions. I was glad they had come. I was glad they were proud of me.

School was my life, it had been for a long time, and I sensed that it would continue to be for a long time. I kept hoping, even then, that my parents might understand this. My father, at least, was somewhat open, in the vein of “whatever you want to do is pretty much OK with me.” My mother was more rigid and fearful: “you’ll get so educated you’ll never find yourself a husband; it’s more sensible to go to work and earn a living; you’ll end up an old maid school teacher if you keep this up.” She didn’t exactly say those words, of course, though she had come close many times. She was good at silent disapproval.

I knew, fortunately, that I couldn’t please her and also please myself. I was lucky to have had teachers and counselors who said I would be crazy not to go to college. Even so, it was an ambivalent choice, and one I tried to attenuate by both working part-time and going to college as well, and eventually moving away from home. Those were rocky months following my graduation. I did get a pretty good full-time job during the summer, with the false promise that I would continue in September but I quit and started college.

Since I was still seventeen, my mother didn’t want me living away from home, and I wanted the freedom of a college girl. There were bizarre arguments about clothing, the posters in my room, and, of course, money. I had paid for my tuition and books. I had my part-time job. I had some spending money. Basically, I just slept at home. Yet I felt I was being held hostage and counted the days until I turned eighteen.

When I actually did move out, the strain eased. Years later my mother brought up the subject and offered a sort of explanation. She said she felt everyone was against her just then, especially me. And, years later, my sister told me that she thought that at that time our mother was abusing the tranquilizers she had been taking for back pain.

Ironing

Written about 1995.

My iron started acting unreliable and became over-heated a few days ago. Some weeks before, when I had attended a quilt show in Paducah, Kentucky, my traveling companion and I discussed the virtues of the latest, brand new super-sonic, float-on-a-bed-of-steam, drive themselves irons which were not only available during the show, but were on sale at reduced prices.

My friend, an excellent life-long seamstress, said she had given up on steam irons completely. When her last one died, (and she remembered paying close to $100 for it), she had searched the second hand stores for months until she found just the right kind of extra heavy, non-steam, no-holes-in-the-base plate old fashioned iron she wanted. She had it rewired, got out the spray bottle, and was quite happy, thank-you-very-much. I had, nevertheless, looked somewhat longingly at the float-on-a-bed-steam, new super duper irons, not knowing I would have an opportunity to consider their purchase so soon.

I am not a person who buys clothing that requires ironing. The ironing that I do is related to my quilt making. I grew up hating ironing, and perhaps because I have been freed from it for so many years, I have come to regard the little Ironing I have to do in a neutral, if not pleasant way.

It is impossible to iron fast; or rather, it is impossible to iron too fast and do a good job of it. If you rush, or turn the iron up too high, you can end up damaging the garment. Perhaps that is what I found so frustrating about ironing originally. It was there; it had to be done; it took a certain amount of time, and there was just no avoiding it.

I went to junior high school in a time of blouses with puffed, starched sleeves and full cotton skirts, likewise starched and ironed slick. It was a time before the household dryer was commonplace. The few motorized washing machines, with round windows in their doors, were watched by groups of curious children with just a tiny bit less fascination than the first television sets would be watched a few years later. As I frequently remind my own teenage daughter, we just had fewer clothes. They got washed once a week, and, of course, ironed, and they were worn several times before they were washed again. School clothes were taken off after school, so that they would be clean to wear again later in the week.

I wasn’t responsible for much of my own ironing until I was in my teens. As a little girl I had a toy ironing board and iron, and even later, as an older child, I had a small toy electric iron that actually heated up. Ironing is on of those things that look easy, and I thought I could do it. I was allowed to practice on table napkins and dishtowels; later, on pillowcases and sheets. It was only after scorching and damaging a few household items that I was cautioned to observe more carefully and even ask for advice about how to do this. I learned to use a spray bottle and damp down all the clothes, and to wait before ironing them. I learned the mysteries of gooey starch.

But I learned to iron seriously by preparing my gym suit for junior high school gym classes. Gym suits were brought home each weekend for cleaning. Our laundry day was during the week, so the gym suit was out of synchronization with the rest of the washing. Thus, the gym suit was washed out by hand on Saturday and hung out to dry. Then it was sprinkled and wrapped in an old but clean pillowcase sometime Saturday evening or Sunday, then, hopefully, ironed on Sunday night to be taken to school bright and early Monday. Starching the suit was not required, but ironing was. One of the ways to make the fact that the suit was clean and ironed more obvious was to starch it; so many girls, myself included, did that.

The gym suit was not an easy garment to iron. It snapped down the front and had a pocket. The “bottoms” were gathered around the leg and thus puffed, like bloomers. We all knew that the ridiculousness of this garment’s construction was so that boys wouldn’t be able to see our underwear as we played sports. We tried to make these silly outfits more fashionable by rolling up the elastic legged bottoms as high as our teachers would allow. But this was all after they were delivered to school in neatly folded, starched bundles each week.

Scorching was the most serious risk with these garments. One time I scorched a leg so badly I could smell it all week during gym class, and the brown burn mark never really washed out. I scorched other blouses. I scorched skirts. I probably scorched most of the garments I owned at one time or another, until the advent of the steam iron. And the steam iron didn’t stop my scorching all together. It just made it harder for me to do.

Thus, like the Amish, I was pleased with the advent of wash-and-wear clothing. It was late in high school, or maybe I had already started college, when the first daring housewife hung out these marvelous new shirts (for men, of course) to dry on hangers, dripping wet. When I got my first job after college and felt enormously affluent, I still had my clothes ironed at a laundry. Then slowly, over the years, the fashions and technology changed. Clothes were designed to be tumbled dry in the new automatic dryers; rumpled, soft cottons became fashionable. People, at least in North America, owned lots and lots of clothes.

So it is somewhat strange that I find myself ironing at all. When I first started quilt making, about six years ago, I did not own an iron. I resisted buying one, and the companion ironing board, until it became just too obvious that an iron and ironing board would, in fact, make my work much easier. And they did. And I’ve used the iron enough to wear it out in six years and face choosing a new one. Should I go all out for the latest model super-steam version, or like my seamstress friend, hunt the second hand shops for an old-fashioned, simpler-but-better model?

I haven’t made up my mind yet.

Script for a National Library Week Video

My name is Aneta Sperber and I teach photography here at Rodriguez High School.

This is National Library Week, and I’d like to share a bit about what libraries have meant to me.

As a child I grew up in Oakland, California, and my local library was the Temescal  Branch of the Oakland Public Library System.

The Temescal Branch was, I think, a Carnegie built library. It was brick and solid, and survived even earthquake retrofitting. It stands proudly today and is still a wonderful, magical place to me.

When I needed a place to relax, where it was quiet, so I could think, the library was there.

When I needed a place to study and do my homework, the library was there for me.

When I needed a place to explore, to travel in my imagination and dream, the library was there.

When I needed answers to questions, when I needed information, the library was there.

When I needed entertainment– music, DVD’s, and books– the library was there for me.

Libraries are still free, and they offer more than ever. Libraries are there for you, just waiting for you to use them.